18 Feb 2013

Review: SMILEY (2012)

There will be no Smiles after a viewing of this...
We are in a year of nothing but ghouls and goblins, a year that seems to think horror is a ghost that can only be seen on a camera on record. There is very little 'good old slasher' flicks to watch this year, but the ones that still have a grip on a knife turn out to be pretty dreadful. This is were 'Smiley' comes into play. 
Did you ever watch a horror film where there is nothing but fake scares? Actually, did you ever watch a horror film were there is so little scares that it almost becomes a spoof? Well if so, you were probably watching Smiley. This tedious "horror" really has so little to offer; horror-wise, in fact it has so little to offer in general. Its not scary, it's not interesting, it's not smart, for god sakes it's not even enjoyable, it's just another who-done-it type horror that fails to do anything right except invent a creepy ass villain; who in fact rarely makes an appearance. I personally believe there is nothing like bad acting to drag a film down, so when a film like Smiley is on its last legs the last thing it needs is a cast that have the acting ability of a B grade Drama student in senior school. The acting was that bad that I was routing for the 'Final Girl' I simply wanted her dead, and when that did happen I couldn't have been happier; well I think her death should have been better... 
You may think that I just spoiled the ending for you by letting slip that 'Mrs. Cant-act-for-shit' see's her demise at the end but that's not even the ending, there is also a twist! Oooohhhhhh! Pftt, I wish! I wouldn't even call it a twist, I'd call it a shameless act to piss the audience off; I didn't even make sense, it had no explanation and worst of all, its attempt to make the film better just made the film look worse. 
Let's have a little discussion on the general story. "I did it for lolz" is what is repeated three times over a site like Omegle if they wanted Smiley to appear. What? Stupid you say? What would give you that idea?! Of course it was stupid; it couldn't have got anymore stupid if it tried! At the end up I almost wish some would type "I did it for the lolz" to me so smiley would come take my life to stop me from watching the slasher genre from sinking down the drain. Despite having one or two moments that were average (which all involved the "real" Smiley) I had to over look it because the rest was so shit. 

VERDICT: This tedious horror really has so little to offer, horror-wise; in fact it has so little to offer in general. Its not scary, it's not interesting and it's not smart, for god sakes it's not even enjoyable, it's just another who-done-it type slasher that fails to do anything right except invent a creepy ass villain and execute a pretty terrible ending. At the end up I almost wish some would type "I did it for the lolz" to me so smiley would come take my life to stop me from watching the slasher genre sink down the drain.


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