30 Mar 2013

Review: 247°F (2013)

A Poor attempt at a Psychological Horror.

This straight-to-DVD horror release is about a group of young, conveniently hot friends that stay at a cabin for a weekend and end up getting trapped inside a sauna without any help whilst the heat rises and they struggle to survive.
Pretty basic stuff. Well before i get into my intentionally short review (as their is very little to talk about a film that is quite a bore of an experience) I just have to make a statement that I personally believe the person who pitched this idea sat down and said, "Well I was trying to think of ways to keep an attractive young cast naked throughout the whole film, so what better way to make that happen by basing this film in a sauna!" If the writer in fact never said this well it certainly feels like he did because it seems to be the soul purpose of this dull so called "horror".
So I'm not going to go into things to much here for two reasons; One: The movie doesn't have enough memorable qualities to review or even remember; and Two: Its a pretty bad film that doesn't deserve my time and effort to review. So, Let's get started shall we?

The Good: I'm not going to cut corners here; to tell you the truth there was very little I liked about this film. Any good quality it had it spoiled. Butttt.. since this is 'The Good' section it is my job to talk about what's good about the film, even if it pains me to do so. Right, i have to admit, the plot was ok in the sense that i don't recall it ever being done before so in that way its almost a new take in the Psychological horror sub-genre. Yeah i have to say, most of the film is pretty crap but the odd moment here and there have the ability to make you feel claustrophobic or uncomfortable which is a good thing compared to its endless inability to effect the audience. The characters are likable... in a way; Scout Taylor-Compton plays a helpless yet relatable character who surprisingly isn't as annoying as the other female character, who alone could put a normal sane off this film altogether.

The Bad: I am just going to scan through all the bad elements of this film quickly because I really dont want to spend anymore time talking about this film, plus there are too many bad moments to count. Ok well the film is tedious, its actually quite stupid, the acting is poor as is some of the character development. The film has to much arrogance for its own good, clearly the writers and directors thought they were on to something here and must have thought they were delivering something special, when in reality they were releasing a straight-to-DVD movie that fails as both a psychological flick and a horror. Even for the short time the film lasts it drags, and as for the ending, its one big slap in the face! How? well because when the door gets jammed against the ladder you think it happened because the drunk guy outside was attacked or killed, hence why everything was knocked over and why the door was blocked; so in me thinking this I then thought the landlord guy killed him and then deliberately locked the rest in the sauna to die. BUT, the reality and the so called "ending" was actually that the friend was so drunk that he knocked everything over (blocking the door) and then conked out on the sofa, then hours later he went to go find them thinking they left for a party, giving the reason that when the gang in the sauna called for help nobody heard them or came for them. DUHHH!!! Kidding, its the gang behind this film who are the idiots thinking THAT was a good ending. Oh and before I forget, adding the words "Based on True Events" doesn't make a film scarier. Rant over.

VERDICT: 247°F clearly tries to be something it's not, and actually thinks it's better than what it is. For a film that fails on nearly every level, it has guts, but by no means is this a psychological flick or even a horror, so placing itself into that sub-genre is offensive. For god sakes the film isn't even enjoyable! 

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