27 Apr 2013

'The Lords of Salem' Review


The Lords of Salem, Rob Zombie's very own hit dvd a week ago, and of-course i was eager to see what Zombie had to deliver, and judging by the trailer, it looked but be a lot. The Last thing I watched that had Zombie's stamp on it was Halloween 2, and let's face it, despite being sadistic, gothic and quite original, it was bad. However, I did like the remake for Halloween (2007) so I had a little bit of hope for this film because normally when directors take time off, their returning flick is normally a good'en, plus, we have all seen The Devil's Rejects so we know what he's capable of. Did he do me justice? No; and you know what, I don't think he gave what the fans wanted either..

The Good: The Lords of Salem is a lot of things, and one of the is that its not a good movie. However, every grey cloud has a silver lining, and that's the case with Salem. Is the film entertaining? No. Is it fun? No. Is it fascinating to watch? Hell yeah. The reason being, is because it is visually impressive. Salem's best quality is that it's imagery and cinematography is stunning. That alone could be a reason to watch the film. I'm not quite sure what it is, but the whole look of the movie is enough to keep you watching; the imagery is beautiful, yet haunting, the lighting is inventive and effective. Personally, I think that alone is enough to take a look, especially if your a film student, because the whole look and vibe is inventive, beautiful and actually quite eerie.

The last thing that i actually liked about the movie was the whole idea; most of the time the movie made little sense, but the look of the villains and the monsters are enough to provoke nightmares even if the rest of the movie doesn't. Some of the villains in this are extremely creepy, some past the point were they start to look stupid. Personally, I think they weren't involved enough in the story, and i think if they would have been involved more then the film could have been much better. Why waste something good Rob?

The Bad: As said before, with every grey cloud there is a silver lining, and in the case of Lords of Salem, there is more grey than silver. This movie is not for everyone, Zombie's movie's tend to be like that anyways, but what I can say is that Salem. was defiantly not for me. The whole gothic theme can work on some levels and can work for most people, but for me, it just felt like he took the flick to a point where he abandoned the them midway and started chucking anything he could think of into the mix, creating a big, chunky, uneven mess. You could say that the word "mess" is a bit too harsh, but believe me, when you watch the film you'll realize that you have lost track of the story half-way through and you currently do not know what is happening. Salem does that sometimes, it adds insult to injury by throwing in uneven twists and curves on top of a pile of other uneven twists and curves; what I'm trying to say is that nothing really makes sense. Maybe you'll think I'm wrong, maybe you did understand it, and maybe I just didn't pay enough attention because the film was a bore, but from what i can remember, it was a hot mess.

I think this is the case for all, but I tend not to like a film when there isn't enough pulse-pounding sequences, movies like The Cabin in the Woods, Scream, for god sakes even I Still know What You Did Last Summer all have heart-racing chase sequences or intense action, but with Salem, it's all talk, and no shock. To but it simply, its boring and has as much entertainment as an episode of Goosebumps. It just feels like your sitting through a movie that is constantly trying to explain itself and forgets what its supposed to do, scare and entertain the audience that paid good money to watch it. This isn't the first time Zombie has (pardon the language) fucked the audience over when it came to creating decent entertaining and scary sequences, as seen by Halloween 2; three strikes and you're out Rob!

VERDICT: Despite some visually impressive sequences, The Lords of Salem falls short on scares and fails to entertain, despite how many opportunities it had. I may be harsh when I say this, but what Lords of Salem feels like to me, is a big chunky, uneven mess that involves all of Zombie's strange inventions rolled into one. You'd be better off just giving The Devil's Rejects another viewing.

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