14 Jun 2013

'Hatchet III' Review


To start things off, I have never been a fan of the Hatchet films, in fact if anything I really didn't like them. Sure I can appreciate the tongue-in-cheek approach but I had always found it a formulaic blood spray that replaces both scares and originality with gore and gruesome deaths. In the case of Evil Dead, that's a good thing, but mindless violence is just numbing. Horror fanatics may love the Hatchet movies, but I find them a bad kick-back to the 80's slasher, and although that may float a lot of boats, for me, it's just tiring and clunky.

Hatchet 3 (III) continues straight after the second outing, and picks up were Marybeth left off, drenched in guts and blood. The police force suspect it was her fault and proceed to the blood sprayed area to pick up the pieces, and during their cleaning time, Victor Crowley returns (once again) from the dead and starts chopping his way through the police force, until he gets what he wants. So if your planning on giving this one a viewing, just keep in mind that expect what you got the previous two times, and if that's your bag, then feast, and if not, then avoid this like you would Victor Crowley.


The Good: Hatchet 3 is far from one of my favorite films, actually it's far from being in my top 100, but as much as I wanted to not like this film, I found it a fun ride; the violence does become a little tedious but how can you not enjoy a scene were he chops, rips and crunches his way through the guts of ten guys (pardon the pun). Of anything, that's what I liked the most, it's fun factor, I mean if this film even took itself half serious it would be atrocious, but it's tongue n cheek humor make the gore that much gleeful, and the ridiculous moments, a lot more enjoyable. Although not all of it's my cup of tea, I can still find a place in my heart to appreciate the sort of material this franchise brings.

The biggest element of this entry and the franchise altogether, and the best things about these films is the raw gore and inventive deaths. The deaths in this entry doesn't quite live up to the ones in Hatchet 2, but, I have to say that I did chuckle a little at some of the deaths this time around, and despite the fact that you can tell the creators death inventions have run dry, there is still enough fresh material to enjoy, and the gimmicky effects, make the film even funnier.

What? He's alive again?! What is he, Michael fucking Myers?!
The Bad: Hatchet III was either so bad it was good, or just an average film, either way I thought it was a fair watch, but I did have my doubts and I did have a debate with myself with whether or not I actually liked this film; and when looking at the good I think its a fair watch, but then looking at the bad, I realize how flawed and formulaic this third entry is. The plot has to be one of the most pathetic thing ever, like how can Crowley once again come back to life? (yes the film does explain and yes it makes sense but it's still stupid!); and I have to say, I am sick to death of dumb-ass characters doing dumb-ass things all the bloody time! There is one character in this film that seems to be the voice of the audience, and I have never heard a character speak more truth in a film before; as for the rest, they deserved to die.

The acting is poor on the behalf of most of the characters, perhaps I wasn't expecting much but sometimes is a little unbearable. But, it's Hatchet, its part of the get-up. As for the gore, it became a little tedious and clunky around the middle middle act, and its apparent the creators got tired of trying to  come up with more ruthless deaths that, after some time, make us immune to then, and considering the deaths are Hatchet's strongest element, it's kind of a bad sign, so maybe ending it here is best. Also, the films formula at this stage is starting to become very stale so im surprised they were even able to make yet another sequel of a dried out franchise. Let's hope that this is the final entry into the Hatchet franchise for my sake and fan's sake, as another, would be like getting blood from a stone.

VERDICT: Hatchet III proves is proof that the franchise is running dry on innovation judging by the clunky formula and the lackluster deaths. However, fans of the previous two entries will adore this blood-soaked, gut splattered gore-fest that ends the franchise, not with a spill, but with a splatter. The casual film go-er however should avoid this as fast you would Victor Crowley.


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