17 Jul 2013

'House of Wax (2005)' DVD Review

Director: Jaume Collet-Serra
Writers: Charles Belden, Chad Hayes
Stars: Elisha Cuthbert, Chad Michael Murray, Brian Van Holt, Paris Hilton

A group of teens on root to a game camp in a deserted area, and when a strange man in a van arrives, things start to go wrong, resulting in them going to the nearest town. Whilst there, they come across a House of Wax and soon realize that the waxed figures aren't what they seem, and there is a masked killer behind the murder and creation.

The Film: House of Wax is a lot of things, and one, is that is it not a good movie; its not a bad movie, but it ain't a good one either. In saying this, it is an enjoyable one, and despite it's many flaws, if you are willing to see past them then underneath you will find a mindless yet fun teen slasher flick. Don't get me wrong, its pretty hard to dig deep into the fun zone when it piled underneath heaps of crappy material, one of which involves Paris Hilton and a plot turn that is so pathetic and pointless that it just makes her character even more annoying than herself.

Loosely based on the 1950's classic, House of Wax is basically a big fuss for a big nothing, and when you watch the special features you will know exactly what I am talking about. With action so bland and characters so lifeless, it's hard to get involved or even feel some sort of emotion for a character when they die, and judging my the infamous and hilarious Paris Hilton scene, the only emotion being felt there is of pure joy as we witness America's biggest asshole bite the dust in the most gruesome of manners. Great stuff. As for the rest of the movie, we feel absolutely nothing. Not scary, nor funny, nor interesting, it's has as much redeeming features as it does on Vincent's wax mask, which by the way, resembles Michael Jackson in the weirdest of fashion.

The Extras: Well, I would expect some sort of improvement over the film here, and although there is, it just simply isn't enough to satisfy. The extras are of a decent amount but not of an acceptable length, and with a movie so detailed visually, I would have loved to have seen them literally make the house or waxed figures, and although it does show you, the detail just isn't there. This DVD could have had the potential to be worth a buy if the extras were more detailed and involving, but instead we are left with a bunch of forced interviews that was all thrown together in the last second, commentary (on bloopers...what?!) from the extremely boring cast, some weird ass 5 minute talk from the producer that ends with him being hit by a car, lightly detailed featurette of building the house, a terrible alternate beginning for the film, and something else that was too bad to remember. That is all unfortunately, and although it was pleasing enough to keep me engaged, it just wasn't that interesting to keep me wanting more. 

VERDICT: House of Wax, one of 2005's wasted opportunities may be as lifeless as the waxed figures within it, despite having a fun element within, but with hollow characters, drab performances, inept suspense and unsuccessful plot, House of Wax is just as good as the next pointless teen slasher, though it is a slight improvement for the sub-genre.

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