22 Apr 2014

10 Horror Sequels/Prequels/Remakes that are Coming that Nobody Wants


Nurse 2
It has recently been announced (and I mean recently) from the main actress Paz De La Huerta on twitter that a Nurse 3D is going to happen; or in her words "RT if u want a Sequel to Nurse 3D", in which she followed with a later tweet that read "Nurse 2 is on its way". Seriously? Guys, really? Firstly, I have to express how much this baffles me, that a straight-to-video, albeit a small theatrical released horror that made little to no impact in the genre, is already throwing a sequel on the table. Now, I am no genius, but I can bet my bottom dollar that the money paid to watch this film was from a male dominated audience, not including teens with a lust for any film that has nipples on the go. Yeah Nurse 3D was provocative and amusing, but it was also derivative and tasteless. Why would anyone give the time (and money) to watch something like that two-times over? Obviously Dimension brought in some money from this one, and I have no doubt it was due to the hugely attractive cast (although La Huerta looked like a Russian gypsy), and if they plan to make some more off this pointless sequel, then the girls are going to have to look like they were pulled right from a porno flick.




Leprechaun: Origins
WWE Studios must me looking for an excuse to throw away their money, as this isn't the only horror they're throwing cash in for to promote and sell. This one however is a strange choice, and although little Hornswoggle from the WWE Universe is the main star, the Studio must be looking for reasons to flop, because Leprechaun: Origins is going to please no one. Fans of the original franchise however where probably looking for a return, mainly to try and restore some charm to a franchise that's wit and charisma died off years ago. To me, Leprechaun is pretty much a dead-end franchise, and to go back and do an origins story makes more sense than any; but how they plan to recapture audience's interests in beyond me, considering they put an end to that by releasing Leprechaun in the Hood.



Cabin Fever
This may just be the most pointless remake news I have heard in a long time; Eli Roth's splatter cult classic Cabin Fever is set to be remade by Indomina who had originally planned back-to-back sequels to follow the recent gory mess that was Patient Zero. Evolution Entertainment is set to produce the remake alongside Cassian Elwes and Evan Astrowsky, but I think its safe to say that we don't have a clue what they were thinking, and that this may just be as unnecessary as the recent Carrie remake. Bloody Disgusting heard first from the Cannes Film Festival, and it's not clear just yet if Eli Roth himself will have any involvement, but I doubt it, and to be honest he'll probably give it the green light himself; I mean at the end of the day its the highest form of flattery right? Or it could be there way of saying "we hated your movie, so we're going to make it better."... Who knows what exactly they're thinking, but this is one remake that we don't need and one that nobody asked for.



Texas Chainsaw 4
Texas Chainsaw 4 (the supposed sequel to 2013's Texas Chainsaw 3D) has been in talks ever since Texas Chainsaw 3D claimed the number one spot on the U.S Box Office within the first weeks of 2013. This was to be expected after the slasher drew in a decent amount of cash, but the film wasn't strong enough with critics or fans to even think about spawning another one, especially after starting a new franchise with TC3D being the front-man of it all. It simply isn't strong enough to be the starting point of the franchise, and despite being one of the few who actually enjoyed the film, even I think it's unnecessary to add a few more sequels onto it. It has been in talks now for a long time, and there were even confirmations of actors who had joined the feature (e.g Hannah Montana star Cody Linley) who had then later been subjected due to the dead-end the film had hit in production. However, I still think the sequel will move ahead in some time, and whether or not that's a good or bad things is totally up to your opinion on how they ended Texas Chainsaw 3D. Will Daddario star again despite her career starting to blossom? Who knows, and who cares.



Insidious: Chapter 3
James Wan has a real eye for horror, and with hits like The Conjuring it's apparent, but wanting to do another sequel isn't quite the best direction to be taking. The first Insidious was fine, a little rough around the edges but still thoroughly scary. Insidious Chapter 2 however was cheesy, terribly fright-less and unbelievably dumb; but, in saying all that it did bring in a whopping $160 Million on a $5 Million budget. It is absolutely no surprise that they are moving ahead with a sequel. Unfortunately though we as horror fans always make the mistake of paying good money to sit through yet another pile of crap, giving them more reasons to make another sequel because we made the doubtful mistake of going to watch it in the first place. If we learn then perhaps Chapter 4 won't be made; but for now, we may wallow in shame as it is out fault that Chapter 3 is on its way.



Sinister 2
Don't get me wrong, Sinister is a good movie; it's scary, it's inventive and it knows how to scare its audience. However, none of us were asking for a sequel, mainly because none of us thought long enough about their being one. I'm not exactly against there being a sequel, but I don't particularly want it either; in fact correct me if i'm wrong but I don't think anyone else wants it either. Sinister didn't do anything to have to correct its wrongs, and the plot was so straight forward that it doesn't really need anything else to justify it. So whatever approach they'll be going with, I'm sure it will prove to be just as pointless as one would have imagined, proving that it has got the green-light for money and not by audience demand.



Paranormal Activity 5
Really? The story (or what's left of a story) has come full circle and then some, so what else could this installment have to offer aside from recycled scares and some more of Katie who won't take the hint and f*** off! Need I say more?



See No Evil 2
At the end of every dark tunnel there is a light (most times), and the light here is the incredibly talented Soska sisters Jen and Sylvia are directing the feature; but the dark tunnel is in fact that this sequel is even being made in the first place. The first starring WWE's Kane was released back in 2006, and even then it left little to remember, so the decision to make a follow up is completely insane considering that nobody liked the movie back in 2006, and it has that same effect on us today. To put it simply, it sucked, and this one will probably suck too. The Soska Sisters may be behind this, but so is WWE Studios, and when was the last time they ever invested in something worthwhile eh?



The Woman in Black: Angel of Death
A strange choice for a sequel indeed; Angel of Death will follow events that take place years in advantage from the tales of Harry Potter, umm I mean Mr. Daniel Radcliffe. I wasn't a fan of the 2012 version, and I struggled to appreciate it, so it was no shock that news of a sequel didn't phase me; but what was a shock was that a sequel was being made, and that nobody, not even fans of the first wanted this to happen. Why don't we want it? Because we don't need it. Why don't we need it? Because we have many coming out that will overshadow it just like they did back in 2012. The Conjuring was memorable, Insidious was (sort of) memorable; The Woman in Black wasn't memorable, so a sequel choice makes little sense.



The Pact 2
Bizarre news indeed, The Pact 2 is swiftly on its way to shelves near you, and if you like the first (which I doubt many of you did) then I'm sure you will be doing your rounds and picking this one up; but if your like me and hated the first, then you will look at this as one of the most pointless sequels in a long time. I would excuse myself if The Pact made big money at the box office back in 2012, but after bringing in an extremely underwhelming $7 Million, I can't think of one reason why this sequel would get a release. Aside from boasting a strong lead in the shape of Camilla Luddington (who played Lara Croft in the latest Tomb Raider game), The Pact 2 has nothing left to offer, and nothing to make a new audience want to spend 90 minutes of their time investing in this.

2 comments:

  1. Wow! I had no idea that they were doing a sequel to "The Pact". I actually think that film is very good. I was impressed. And I understand what you're saying about "Sinister 2", I would feel the same way. However, the director stated way back when the first hit theaters that he was going to do at least two sequels. So knowing that it was planned from the start and that he's involved in them keeps my faith in the movie. Does it need a sequel? Absolutely not! But, if it's in the right hands, it can't hurt.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I like how your thinking, I mean your points are valid and make a lot of sense; I disliked The Pact in the sense that I watched it to be scared and it failed to do that so I disliked it. Thanks!

      Delete

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...